


What Was Left In The Coffin

by Ebonyheart



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Horror, Disassociation, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Or at least Steve’s thoughts are somewhat adjacent, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide Attempt, The Author Regrets Nothing, meh. I’d rather over tag triggers than under tag.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23729557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ebonyheart/pseuds/Ebonyheart
Summary: Beneath layers of alabaster and mother of pearl, Cap could trace the lines of hellfire flowing thick and strong. He knew that the body he’d been shoved into couldn’t possibly fit all the rage and desperation without a few cracks, so that wasn’t nearly as surprising as him still being there to see them.After all he’d been through, all the ways he’d failed, he was still there.(Blasphemy.)You see, there’s always something given when the terms are laid out and a bargain is struck. This was a messy, ill-wrought deal between Steve Rogers and whatever power would answer him, but the terms were simple: everything, in exchange for the safe return of one James Buchanan Barnes.With that bargain struck like a match, Cap was forged in an army green coffin with the heart of a desperate man as kindling. Steve should’ve been more picky though, because demons born from any contract will never hold up their end of the deal if they can help it.(He must be one.)(Him being a demon is the only way this made sense, because Buck’s Stevie would’ve...)
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	What Was Left In The Coffin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [behradtarazi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/behradtarazi/gifts).



> My giftee, behradtarazi, made a post on Tumblr with the awesome prompt listed below. I twisted the original idea a bit though, because I’m a sucker for whump that the characters dish out for themselves. ^w^
> 
> * * *
> 
> Prompt:
> 
> the history books have a lot to say about steve rogers.
> 
> they'll tell you that he was born in brooklyn, that he took on the name captain america, that he fought bravely and sacrificed himself and came back still swinging.
> 
> here's what they won't tell you:
> 
> steve rogers died the moment the supersoldier serum touched him.
> 
> steve rogers died, and captain america took his place, crawled into the hollowed-out remains of him, stretched his cold lips into a smile.
> 
> steve rogers died, and nobody noticed.

_(It started with the bones.)_

When he was very young, Sister Margaret swore he was born with Satan’s temper and, in that moment, Steve was sure he’d proven her right. It felt like he’d summoned a demon into his body through desperate rage alone but, even if he had, it would be worth it. He would make damn sure it was worth it.

_(He cracked open like a heart whose love ran off to war, and just kept pulling.)_

If his line ended here, so be it.

_(Find the warmth that had kept him alive through the winter.)_

So long as whatever took his place did what he’d come to do-

_(Find the hands that held him together when he shook apart.)_

Steve didn’t care what parts of him survived.

_(Find the air that taught him to breathe again whenever his body forgot.)_

Whatever happened to him didn’t matter.

_(Find all the good worth dying and living for that was left in this world.)_

Just let Bucky be safe.

_(Bring. Him._ **Home.** _)_

It was excruciating towards the end, but he begged them to continue-

_(Let him burn, let hellfire take the last drop in his veins, just make him strong enough to-)_

Because we all think that some things are worth any pain.

_(Buck_ **yyyyyyyyy!** ”

* * *

“Son of a bitch did it.”

”You actually did it.”

”How do you feel?”

”Taller.”

”Stop him!

* * *

As the light faded like a star crashing down to earth, the capsule had opened. What was left in the coffin still answered to the name, “Steven Grant Rogers,” but Cap knew better.

_(Please.)_

It wasn’t until after the train, but... 

_( **Please!** )_

Eventually, Cap knew better.

**Author's Note:**

> *cackles*


End file.
